Eileen Garvin
Crow Talk The Music of Bees How to be a Sister
Eileen Garvin
Author & Beekeeper

 

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How to be a Sister

“This book is an unforgettable, courageous, and explicit sibling’s eye view into a rarely explored relationship, where the bond wrought by love and joy, crisis and heartbreak is mesmerizing.”

—Mary-Ann Tirone Smith, author of Girls of Tender Age: A Memoir

Eileen Garvin’s older sister, Margaret, was diagnosed with severe autism at age three. Growing up alongside Margaret wasn’t easy: Eileen often found herself in situations that were simultaneously awkward, hilarious, and heartbreaking. Losing a blue plastic hairbrush could leave Margaret inconsolable for hours, and a quiet Sunday Mass might provoke an outburst of laughter, swearing, or dancing.

A deeply felt, impeccably written memoir, How to Be a Sister will speak to siblings, parents, friends, and teachers of people with autism—and to anyone who sometimes struggles to connect with someone difficult or different.

Now available in audiobook!

Find How to Be a Sister on Audible, Audiobooks.com, Libro.FM, and wherever you find audiobooks.

Purchase a signed copy
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 More about How to be a Sister

 

How to Be a Sister begins when Eileen, after several years in New Mexico, has just moved back to the Pacific Northwest, where she grew up. Being 1,600 miles away had allowed Eileen to avoid the question that has dogged her since birth: What is she going to do about Margaret? Now, Eileen must grapple with this question once again as she tentatively tries to reconnect with Margaret. How can she have a relationship with someone who can’t drive, send email, or telephone? What role will Eileen play in Margaret’s life as their parents age, and after they die? Will she remain in Margaret’s life, or walk away?

 

 Praise & Awards

★ An IndieBound Indie Next List Pick

“There is nothing gentle or elegiac about the tone of Eileen Garvin’s How to Be a Sister, and while there’s self-awareness, there’s a welcome lack of extended self-analysis. The focus instead is squarely on the author’s sister, Margaret, diagnosed as autistic at 3 years old. . . . Garvin’s storytelling abilities are strong, and her fierce, protective love for Margaret, whom she brings to stinging life on the page, gives this book real power.”
—The Washington Post 

“A marvelous, harrowing, life-affirming book. In looking to forge a meaningful relationship with her severely autistic sister, Eileen Garvin finds a simpler way of being in, and extending, every moment. Isn’t that what we’re all after? I loved this book. And boy, can she write!”
—Abigail Thomas, author of A Three Dog Life: A Memoir

“Although Eileen Garvin was the younger sister, she was expected to be responsible for Margaret. Now, as an adult, Eileen struggles to understand her unpredictable and effusive sister, and finds that no matter how much confusion and inner conflict she feels, she always returns to love. A poignant, thoughtful, and honest portrayal of life with a sibling who has autism.”
—Rachel Simon, author of Riding the Bus with My Sister and Building a Home with My Husband

“How to Be a Sister, told with amazing insight and compassion, is rich in the hilarious detail of coping with a beloved family member with special needs. Read this book. It will enrich your life.”
—Terrell Harris Dougan, author of That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister

“Eileen Garvin’s portraits of her sister Margaret in chaotic action bring a rich identity into focus, an identity that includes autism—but also a wild and playful tug-of-war with the world that more truly defines Margaret. Bravo to Eileen for seeing and for enabling the rest of us to witness her sister’s creativity, purpose, and profoundly independent path.”
—Judy Karasik, coauthor of The Ride Together: A Brother and Sister's Memoir of Autism in the Family